Evanescence frontwoman and founder of the band, Amy Lee, had a recent conversation with Hardcore Humanism podcast this week and talked about how losing her two siblings affected her soul and how she managed to rise again.

As you may remember, Evanescence frontwoman’s beloved brother Robby Lee passed away from this world at the age of 24 after struggling with severe epilepsy since he was just 7-years-old. Unfortunately, this was not the first time Amy lost her relatives. Lee’s sister named Bonnie died at the age of 3 when Amy Lee was just 6.

In her interview with Hardcore Humanism, Amy was asked how she has written about the darkness in her music after having casualties in her family. Amy shared the importance of exploring the darkness and admitted that whenever he thinks about the days he was most afraid and alone, he pretends like it did not happen.

Here is what Amy said in his latest interview:

“To me, going through that, surviving that, being able to continue on and find a way to make your life make sense afterward, that’s really what I’m talking about. It’s not that I like spooky things and darkness because it’s fun to play with danger. It’s that the time that I feel the most afraid or alone or whatever in my life is when it’s like it didn’t happen. It’s like the world just went on living like nothing ever went wrong.”

I remember sometimes feeling really weird on beautiful, sunny days when I was a kid, because I felt like it should always be raining when I was grieving my sister.”

You can listen to the whole podcast below.