Mötley Crüe bassist Nikki Sixx shared a post on his official Instagram account revealing the first page of his 2010 diary. Apparently, the rocker was experiencing some dark times back then as he questioned his life on this earth and his efforts to contribute to his children’s lives.

As you might know, the Mötley Crüe icon hasn’t lead a monotonous life, especially throughout the band’s heyday. Nikki Sixx was primarily known for his hedonistic lifestyle fueled by drugs, and he had quite a reputation for partying and getting in trouble.

The musician struggled with heroin addiction and overdosed several times, including one time when his heart stopped. Although he’s a father of five, Nikki Sixx spent the first couple of years of his children’s life addicted to heroin. On top of his destructive addiction, his hard work with Mötley Crüe left little time to spare for his family.

Although it took some time, the legendary bassist managed to get sober and has been clean for the past two decades. Being sober for years and in a better mental state now, the Mötley Crüe bassist spends most of his time with his family, especially with his two-year-old daughter Ruby.

Sixx recently shared a post on Instagram and revealed the first page of his personal diary from 2010, which he found while unpacking his stuff. In the journal, Nikki Sixx penned his emotions and said he feels like every day may be his last day on Earth.

It seems like Sixx wasn’t in the best place mentally and questioned his previous actions and their consequences. The musician said he sometimes asked himself if he has done everything in his power to make his children’s life better. Referring to times when he neglected his family, it is clear that the rocker felt regret years ago and shared his past feelings with his fans.

In the journal, Sixx penned:

“March 14, 2010.

I have been driving through these canyons for 30 years. Your perspective on life is your life!

Sometimes I think that this may be my last day on earth. I ask myself at these moments if I have done everything I can think of to make my children’s life better. Have I?”

You can see the Instagram post below.

Photo Credit: Nikki Sixx – Instagram