Queens of the Stone Age frontman Josh Homme opened up about his older brother Jason Homme coming out as gay, reflecting on the signs he noticed growing up and the struggles his brother faced in their religious household.
Speaking with Mercury Studios, Homme was asked when he first began to suspect that his brother might be gay. He recalled that Jason was popular, athletic, and received plenty of attention from girls, but never seemed particularly interested.
“It’s funny. My brother didn’t get bullied, but there was a moment in there, and that was, you know, him being called gay. You know, he’s a very handsome guy, and girls loved him, and he never seemed to have an interest.”
“He had a girlfriend at one point, and he’s an athletic dude, and he didn’t, like I said, he was a very— he was a popular kid. Like, he didn’t get picked on a lot, but I think everyone goes through that at the moment. I have red hair, and, you know, and there was a moment where that was being thrown at him like it was a negative.”
Homme explained that he was extremely close with his brother and was quick to defend him whenever someone tried to give him trouble. His own experiences growing up with red hair had also taught him how to respond when people tried to target someone for being different.
“And I just am not good in a bully situation, so I just learned to fight. So if somebody ever did anything like that, I was quick to jump in. Yeah. Whether it was someone older, it didn’t matter to me, you know. I think you either, when you have red hair, you learn to either run or stay, and I wasn’t going anywhere, you know. And my brother and I were so tight.”
Looking back, Homme said he had some idea that Jason was dealing with something deeper, even if he could not fully understand or name it at the time. Their religious upbringing made the situation more difficult, particularly because Homme described the religion on his mother’s side of the family as being centered heavily on fear and punishment.
“So I think I had inklings of that, and also I recognized my brother’s turmoil. You know, I really wish that— and we grew up in a religious house, and for my mom’s side, religion is Old Testament. It’s something that you’re afraid of. If you don’t follow this, shit is gonna happen. God’s gonna do some crazy shit, you know. Very Old Testament. So watching my brother’s struggles and not knowing how to name them, I didn’t know for sure. When my brother finally came out, I was like, Yeah, you know.”
For Homme, the most painful part was not learning that his brother was gay. Instead, it was realizing how long Jason had struggled before coming out and understanding that some of those difficulties could potentially have been eased much earlier.
“The thing that irked me the most is that it took him that long, because I knew the troubles that he was having. In a flash, you just knew why they existed, you know? And they could have been assuaged, you know? They could have been neutralized. And so that, I think those are the things that hurt, that you feel like you’ve… Because when you’re learning how to speak, you know, I’ve said the dumbest shit ever in front of tons of people, you know?”
Homme also addressed something from his own childhood that his brother later brought up. Jason remembered hearing him make a comment about gay people when Homme was young. Homme explained that, at 13, he was repeating things he had heard from adults before he was old enough to form his own understanding.
“So it’s like, you know, I remember my brother was like, Oh, I heard you say a comment about, you know, gays when you were… But I was like 13 years old, and I’m just, you’re parroting adults. Yeah. That are adults. But you find out, Oh, this person’s an idiot, what they’re saying, and I’m just parroting what they’re saying because you’re a child. You guys have, like, an amazing relationship. He’s awesome. Yeah. I love him so much.”
Homme’s comments ultimately show that Jason’s coming out was less a moment of surprise for him than a moment that helped him understand years of struggles he had already witnessed. Despite the pressures surrounding their upbringing and things Homme wishes he had understood sooner, his comments also make clear how close the brothers remained, ending his reflection with a simple message about Jason: “I love him so much.”
