Tim Lambesis revealed that his bandmates gave him an ultimatum before leaving As I Lay Dying.
He shared the struggles he faced at the time, particularly in his relationship with his wife, Dany, and how it affected him. “I wasn’t going to talk about it because I didn’t want to let anybody know how deeply unhealthy things were because then they would tell me I have to leave the relationship but I wanted to find a way to fight and stay,” Lambesis confessed to Justin Wenzel.
He went on to describe the growing concerns of those around him, saying, “People are saying, ‘Tim’s acting less and less like himself. I’m concerned what is going on.’ I never yelled at anybody or argued with anybody or we never had fights. It wasn’t like that. It was just like from afar they were like this, ‘Dude, it just feels like he’s falling apart. What’s going on?'”
Lambesis reflected on the timing of his personal struggles aligning with his bandmates’ departures. “The irony is that my relationship ended at the same time that those guys sort of gave up, per se. I’m not blaming them, but the solution occurred at the same time that they felt like they no longer were — they didn’t want to stick around because they felt like there was no solution.”
When asked if his bandmates had attempted to intervene, Tim explained, “That’s not to their discredit, I mean I tend to… The more I’m struggling, the more I isolate, right?”
The conversation shifted to the dynamics of the band, with Tim acknowledging that if the band had been more like a brotherhood, they might have stepped in and given him an ultimatum. “I mean I do have to defend them. So part of why I bottled up and isolated more is that I did get this sense of ultimatum. It was like, ‘Hey whatever you’re going through, I can’t see that stuff surface again cuz if that comes out again, I’m gone.’ The couple of the guys had said or one of the guys had said that. So there was like, ‘Okay well now I feel like I got to hide my struggle.'”
Reflecting on the band’s experiences during tours, Lambesis described some of the tension, “Yeah I mean, verbal arguments and stuff or you be like, ‘Hey, where did they go? Where did that Tim?’ Me and my ex would go and they be like, ‘Dude, they’ve just been gone for the last two hours. We’re waiting for him. Where is it?'” He continued, “And it just was like… I’m just scratching my head being like how can I resolve conflict and there was no way to possibly [resolve]. I’m always looking for a way to resolve conflict. This is within my nature. Maybe it’s the codependent thing you’re talking about. So all I care about is resolving it.”
In October, four of Tim’s bandmates from As I Lay Dying left the group, citing vague reasons and mentioning ‘concerning behavior.’ Ryan Neff, Ken Susi, Nick Pierce, tour manager Alex Kendrick, and guitarist Phil Sgrosso all parted ways in the same week. At the time, Lambesis was the only remaining member of the band.
